Jobin M Verghese


Just saw pictures of your funeral and it’s killing me. Feeling the same thing again and again that I lost you and I can never see you again hurts me the most. I am sure you can see how bad I am hurt and what I am thinking. But I have to let it out and say it loud.
I thought of keeping this only to me and not posting it on the blog, but your death realized me and taught me that in no way one should hide what they feels for someone. Feelings should be transparent and spoken, for there might not be a tomorrow to say anything.
I wish I could have told you earlier that you were always my inspiration and idol. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me and came to my life-like an angel, a true friend.
बूँद बूँद आँखों से लहू बहे
मन रोये और दिल मातम करे
पूझे क्या जल्दी थी तुझे जाने की ?
लौट आ बस येही फरियाद करे.
Since you left, there is not going to be any faith and any belief on what you believed and had a rock solid faith.
There isn’t a GOD and if he is there somewhere he is a son of bitch, a selfish little bastard and an unfair creäture. He didn’t do right by snatching you from our lives.I miss you, I’ll miss you for all of my life that is left. I still can’t believe that you have left me all alone and snatched the part of my heart I kept for you, only for you.To show the world what I have lost, I don’t have words and even my actions are limited. I wish I can tear my chest and show the space you have created, a hole in my heart and in my life.I will always feel the guilt of not dying before you, not being able to trade places with you, not being able to save you from dying.

I say friends are very important part of life and I have been lucky to have you in my life. You are my mentor, brother and a friend who cared just like a father.

In the ways you have inspired me and supported me for every moment in last 9-10 years are uncountable .

You have saved me from dying in vain and gave me a purpose in life and made me have faith on myself.

You are the brother I will never have and so I wont let you go, not today and not ever.

I’m surely mad at you for not giving me a chance to keep my promises. I think I deserved it…

It’s really hard to believe that you are gone forever, that I wont be able to see you anymore. But then there is this strong part of my heart that knows that you are always going to be right here with me and with us. The memories will never fade, the love and respect will never vanish.

I’m broken , it’s tough to hide tears and pretend to be strong, I really don’t wanna go on without you, but I know what you always wanted out of me and what you want now. I shall fulfill my promises and when I am done, I will see you again, kick your butt and pull your legs for eternity.

Life is definitely tough and unbearable without having you by my side, its like broken pieces of glasses, the more your try to hold the more you would bleed.

I miss you Jobin, you were one of my pillars in life , your endless support and care meant the world to me. Who would urge me now? who would fight for me ? who would tell me to calm down? who would ask me to focused?.  Nobody can ever replace you my friend, for people like you are born in a unique way with all the unique qualities.

I promise I would take care of people you loved, I would finish my novel, I would stand strong no matter what and I will never let you go from my life and my heart.

I also want to ask you something that  If there is a world after life then don’t Rest in Peace. Now you are free , don’t try to be responsible for everything, live your life and do what you couldn’t.

I wish that in every coming life you would be there with me and with your smile we will again and again live these moments.

In the end all I can say for the life and to you is “I Lost one of my arms, one of my legs, one of my eyes and a part of my heart and now with broken heart I would try to save the rest of it.”
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Comments
One Response to “Jobin M Verghese”
  1. Nidhi Nigam says:

    Jobin was really a unique person with extra unique qualities in him. Its really hard to believe he is not with us anymore. He was the most sensible and caring person I have ever met. I will always miss you Jobi, but yes I know you will be there always with me and with us. Miss you.

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