Akhand Singh

I never had the vision to see myself over something, like one lost soul I have no clue as where I would land in near or far future, I know it’s not something new and people around feel the same way but that don’t stop me from writing my heart out as this was the way I really started writing.

I grew up just as normal parents wants their kids to, but was it for real?, like now when I look into the mirror I see the guy standing with a smile on his face, but deep down inside I see the heart burning with dis-satisfactions like he is missing the real gem of life. What was I suppose to do in past and what am I suppose to do now? threatens me every moment, the answers seems to never come  and I keep on trying. With ages learning seemed the only tool that shaped me in some sort of statue, talents and passion grew just with the beard and mustache but were they enough?. I have read that life without a purpose is of no use and honestly I seem to have no real purpose now. It’s not very late since I realized this very fact that I have taken on small missions on my life just to keep self occupied and keep moving forward.

I would watch Rocky a thousand times just to get motivated but even there the first quote grabs you “His whole life was a million-to-one shot” and I am forced to think if I would get that chance.

And if I get that chance, then would I really make that difference? Since the answer wont come that easily, I would hold on this thought and move on the next, thinking why waiting time and not trying to scroll for options.

I would watch Harry Potter a thousand times too, just to realize that friends brings you out through tough times, but then sometimes something you’ve got to do by your own and that’s what makes the difference. But I can’t get this thing out of my mind that “He was the chosen one” and I am forced to think If I would be the chosen one someday.

But what if I am really the chosen one? what would I do, would I really go on fighting and not giving up? the answer wont come again and so I would move on to next continuing the search.

This one really grabbed me to neck and I would watch it again and again, it brought me the character I always wanted to see, the one who would go that extra mile not for self but for others and there was always a purpose and the choice that nobody else would make. 

May be I could carry out something from this character to my life and see it served with a purpose, but what would be the purpose? selflessly serve the people? I wait for a long time and then there comes the moment that I see a light, probably I can do this, but what about the self, can I really ignore the very fact that I have dreams and desires?  I don’t have an answer for this, I obviously have an urge to help others but would that step over my dreams and desires?, after a moment I decide to move on to next knowing that I would have to come back to this as well.

Then later I realize that it’s not these movies that drove me to think about the real purpose but so many interviews of the people I admire and people I get motivated from, they all had a vision, they knew deep down inside that this is what they want to do in life. May be they just lied, I don’t know that for sure but when I look into their eyes while they spoke, I saw the journey that brought them here, I could witness them breaking all kinds of barriers and walking until they found the stage that they today stand on.

I wont agree to the lie that I am satisfied with life I have now, I know deep down inside just like millions of people around that I was meant for something real big in life, and  I won’t give up on this, I would walk and take that extra step to carry on. And may be eventually I would find myself to be the chosen one, may be I would find my million-to-one-shot and may be I would find the courage and determination to serve people selflessly.

~An Empty Glass