Akhand Singh

She pulls over the road, a pause grabs her heart, and with shivering hands she opens the door and gets out of the car. Her feat trembles as she stands and tries to walk, so she just holds the door and stand there for a moment. Her blue eyes tries to find someone around but the fast moving cars doesn’t stop for help. She tries to walk towards the trunk and open it, but the old age has already made her weak, there seems to be no strength to open the trunk and take out the one thing she kept for so long with her, but just with the thought of holding it on her arms, she starts taking one step at a time, grabbing the car’s body slowly she keeps dragging herself to the trunk and then pulls it up with all the strength.

There it lays the picture of her past, the picture of her lifetime and of her love. She remembers the frame that she herself created when she got married to him. But now since he is gone, there seems no reason for her to stay. It’s been 54 years since they were married but when he died last week, it took everything from her. The empty house started running to bite her, and it keeps yelling to leave the house and that there is no place for her here but only with him.

She takes the picture on her hand and pushes the trunk, quietly sliding the picture to her chest she cries hard on the open air, winds carries her tears with themselves and slowly the weather turns to be gloomy. Sun hides behind the clouds and it finally rains. She looks up on the sky and memories from past grabs her on their arms. It was just like this rain when they bumped on each other, he was coming out of the coffee shop while she was trying to get inside and she fell on the ground as she hit him, he picked her up, but she wasn’t the only thing he picked up that day but also he pulled the heart out of her chest and kept it with him. She kept looking at him for few minutes until other people interrupted while trying to get in and out of the coffee shop. Her cheeks turned red, lips bloat out to smile and head bent with coyness. Even when they walked to different directions, their eyes didn’t part, and right at that moment she knew she fell in love with him.

They met often since then, coffee shop on the Elm Street saw their love and one day he proposed her.

“Would you marry me?” He asked.

She stood dumbfounded, tears roll down through her eyes to her cheek, she wanted to say yes, she wanted to dance and scream with excitement but the happiness held her so tight that she just kept smiling and crying for minutes.

“Yes” She said, while David was still on his knees.

It’s been so long but yet thinking about that moment brings her joy, David was always the same, fun-loving and always surrounded by friends. He partied every weekend yet always had time for her. Ann however was more serious, choosing a small group of friends, preferring to work for long hours but for David she would come home early sometime and surprise him. He loved her so much just as she loved him.

She remembers how one day when she broke her leg, David came running all the way when he was stuck on the traffic. He was so worried about her and stayed with her holding hands until doctor put a plaster on her leg. He carried her on his arms all the way from hospital to their home and took off until she could walk again. She knew he was crazy, but she loved it when he took care of her and that’s why she never ran out of love from him just as he did not.

She remembers how he was there with her when she had a miscarriage, he was shaken to but he told her that she would always be enough for him. And when doctors told them that she could never get pregnant again, he held her tight on his arms.

Even last week when he died he couldn’t die without telling her “I wish I could stay here a little longer, love you a little longer” he said.

She cried so loud “Don’t leave me alone”

“I am not leaving you, I am always going to be here with you” He whispered as he drew the last breath.

But now he was dead, she was alone and she was old, no sign of strength and wish to live showed up on her face, her wrinkles added to the burden of drawing breath and she wanted to see him again. She already decided that she has to die; there is no place for her here anymore. But something changed her mind. The picture she held close to her chest talked to her.

“Don’t do this” It says

“Why not?” She asks

“Because he wanted you to live” It says

“I can’t live without him” She says

“So don’t live without him, hold him to your heart and do what you always wanted to do, live” It says

She pauses, thinks about all the moments when he helped her to move on with life, she remembers how he helped her to walk when she failed and fall.

“I am going to live for him” She thinks and holds the picture tight on her chest.

The pressure breaks the old frame and with the cracking noise her heart beat raises. She turns the frame around to see where it cracked. Crack was wide on the left, with her fingers she scratched it and a piece of it fell off. She bend down with caution to pick it up but slipping the lose grip, the picture falls on the ground and breaks into few more pieces. She picks up the pieces slowly and assembles it again but noticing a paper coming out she pulls it off.

Dear Ann,

I don’t know when you would find this letter, or even if you would ever find it. But when you do, remember me if I am not there, remember how much I love you. Think about all the moments we spent.

I know you must be missing me and I miss you too. But don’t cry on it, go out and start over a new life. Do what you always wanted to do, that would make me happy. Adopt a child, I know you always wanted it, you denied all these years saying that I am enough for you but now go on love, raise our child. 

Well If I am there with you and still holding the guitar and singing for you, just come to bed, its cold here.

Lots of Love

David

 

A smile walks up to her face; she holds the picture and walk back into the car to live another life for him and for her.

Few years later,

“David, come back inside, it’s dark” She shouts.

He climbs up the stair, one at a time with his tiny legs. His red pant slides to his hips, shirt is all dirty with mud, he pushes the door and walks to the kitchen and grab her leg. She bends down and holds his fingers and slowly walks to the room inside where all the kids were watching TV. The smile on her face just makes him happy.

And with that sight he finally fades away with the winds and starts a new journey after waiting for years outside the orphanage.

 

 

Last year I met Ann on Zurich airport where she noticed I was scribbling something on my diary. I looked at her and pass her a smile as she smiled.

Later she asked me “what I was writing?”

I told her “I don’t know”

She laughed and said “how can you not know what you are writing?”

I said “I never know, I write until I finish it and until it makes the sense to me, I just get the ink on the page with what comes in my heart”

She smiled and said “You’ll be a good writer someday”

I thought she taunted me but after noticing her interest on my writing I couldn’t stop blushing.

Later she asked “Would you want to hear a story?” 

I said “Yes sure, what is it about?”

She said “It’s about an old woman” and then her lips kept moving until her flight boarding started.

Before she left she asked “Would you write about this someday?”

I asked “Is it your story?”

She replied “yes”.

I asked “What is the end?” she didn’t answer and boarded her plane.

I kept thinking about her and kept thinking if she did raise a child in the end. I think she did, the way she told me the story, there was a relief and calmness on her voice. She seemed happy.

I hope she is healthy, happy and alive wherever she is now and maybe she can reach to this story and tell me if she like it.

Ann, your love drives a strong feeling inside my heart. Your story gave me a different perspective about life. You are an inspiration. This is dedicated to you.

 

~ An Empty Glass